The Quest for the Author's Cake
by Sakura-Starfire
Summary: A pointless thing i have decided to make up . . .My birthday cake gets stolen by Ansem, and the cast of Kingdom Hearts and Zelda, my friend, go to get it back . . .
1. The Cake is Stolen

The Quest for the Author's Birthday Cake  
  
By: Sakura  
  
I WILL ACCEPT CAMEOS! If that's what they are called . . . Anyway since tomorrow is mah birthday I have decided to write this wacko story . . .  
  
ON WITH THE FIC!  
  
```````````````````````````````````````Prologue `````````````````````````````````````````````````````  
  
Sakura: Birthday cake senses tingling . . . TO THE KITCHEN!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*In the kitchen*  
  
Ansem: I SHALL HARNESS THE POWERS OF THIS BIRTHDAY CAKE, AND MAKE THEM MINE! THEN I SHALL RULE THE WORLD WITH DARKNESS!!!  
  
*the candles walk off the cake*  
  
Ansem: NO STOP! I WISH TO RULE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*The candles beat him up*  
  
Sakura: MAH BIRTHDAY CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *slow motion running*  
  
Ansem: BWHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!! *disappears*  
  
Sakura: MAH BIRTHDAY CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *crying* NOW HOW CAN ALL MY FRIENDS COME TO HAVE THE BEST CAKE EVER! IT HAD ALL THE COOL VILLIANS AND SORA'S FACE ON IT! AND ALL THE COOL PEOPLES FROM THE FINAL FANTASYS!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AND FOR ZELDA IT HAD LEON! AND CLOUD FOR ME!!!!  
  
Zelda: *pops in* What's wrong? You usually torture people with me on your birthday!  
  
Sakura: MY BIRTHDAY CAKE WAS STOLEN!!!!!!!!! BY ANSEM!!!!!!!!  
  
Zelda: YOU MEAN THE ONE WITH LEON ON IT?!?!??!?!? AND FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, SORA?  
  
Sakura: *sob* YES!!  
  
Zelda: *GASP*  
  
Sakura: NOW YOU SEE!  
  
Zelda: We must get him at once, but first! *turns Sora into a plushie and gives it to Sakura* You need to stay here in Author place or whatever . . .  
  
Sakura: OK! *huggles Sora plushie, unknowing*  
  
Zelda: I need some recruits! *entire cast of Kingdom Hearts appears* umm that should do . . .  
  
Sakura: NOW FIND MAH BIRTHDAY CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT HOLDS SUCH POWERS TO DESTROY THE WORLDS!!!!!  
  
Cast: YES MA'AM!!!!!!!!  
  
Sakura: FOLLOW ORDERS FROM ZELDA!!!!!  
  
Cast: *scared* Ok . . . . *cowering*  
  
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` ```````````````````````````````  
  
UMM yeah, the quest to get my birthday cake back . . . NOW REVIEW OR THE CAKE WILL BLOW UP YOUR PLANET!!!! FEAR MY AWESOME CAKE!!!!!!  
  
Umm yea whatever . . . R&R please . . . I want to know if I should continue . . . AND IF YOU DON'T REVIEW I WILL ANYWAY!!  
  
Zelda: I am surrounded by idiots . . .  
  
A/N: if you want to understand some things throughout the story and plot (*gasp* yes I might have a plot!!!!!!!!) you will have to read, "We all have Issues, Ours are Just More Important on Zelda Saturn Mistress's account.  
  
Zelda and Sakura: POPULATION: RABID TOOTHLESS MIDGET CLOWNS!  
  
REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	2. Random Stuff, Switcharoos? EMERGENCY VE...

The Quest for the Author's Cake  
  
By: Sakura  
  
Ok so this is the next chapter . . Just read ! AND REVIEW! I LIKE REVEIWS!!! I DON'T CARE IF YOU FLAME! MY CAKE EATS FLAMES!  
  
Ok time to answer the reviews  
  
Some 1 u dont know: Ok, I am a girl. You think I'm scary? COOL!!!!!!!!! So uh here's the next chapter! And while you're reading it have a cookie!*hands you cookie*  
  
Snowgirl7: Well, THANK YOU! Here is the next chapter . . . have a cookie!*hands you cookie*  
  
Siyengo: OMG OMG! I GOT A REVIEW FROM YOU!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE ONE OF MY FAVORITE AUHTORS!!!! *passes out from excitement*  
  
Riku: *picks up the list that fell from her hand* Ok well what she wanted to say was: I like cheesecake! Hmm I thought originally it should be an ice cream cake . . . but I could make it a cheesecake! Yeah I think I will. AND THE RANDOM WILL EXPLODE IN AXOLOTL GOODNESS! Yes poor Zudi . . . THANX FOR THE REVIEW! XD *Riku hands you cheesecake in place of Sakura* By the way? HOW DID FIGURE OUT THAT THE RANDOM ACTUALLY WILL EXPLODE!!!!! GAH! *RUNS AROUND IN CIRCLES*  
  
Sakura: Well I think that's all.  
  
And I will accept Cameos (still if that what you call them). . . Just tell me what they look like, what they do, who in the cast they hate or like .. . and so on . . . OK LETS JUST GET TO THE NEXT CHAPTER!  
  
``````````````````Hot Topics, Random People, and Family Photographs?``````````````````````  
  
Sakura: *sitting at computer and staring dreamily at a Hot Topics shirt with the Halloween versions of all the characters on it*  
  
*Aragorn randomly appears*  
  
Aragorn: I am here to torment you!  
  
Sakura: You don't have a good entrance . .  
  
Aragorn: *pout*  
  
Sakura: Go away!  
  
Aragorn: NO!!!!!!! Sakura: Do the words "Arwen" and "Love" mean anything to you?  
  
Aragorn: *gulp* You wouldn't!  
  
Sakura: I would! *evil grin*  
  
Aragorn: NOOOOOOO! *flees room before anyone can blink*  
  
Zelda: pretty good time!  
  
Sakura: What are you doing here? I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GET MY BIRTHDAY CAKE!  
  
Zelda: Don't worry, Ansem is still having trouble getting out of the trance set by the sparkly, explody, EVIL!, and cool candles on your cake.  
  
Sakura: They came back?  
  
Zelda: They felt homeless.  
  
Sakura: Oh  
  
Zelda: ANYWAY! YOU CANNOT SCARE OFF ARAGORN LIKE THAT! I NEED HIM FOR SLASH STORIES!  
  
Sakura: I'LL DO WHAT I WANT! DON'T MAKE ME SEND RABID LYCANS ON YOU!  
  
Zelda: You cannot kill me! I AM THE GODDESS OF DEATH! I CANNOT BE HURT!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sakura: *pokes Zelda*  
  
Zelda: OWWWWWIE! THAT HURT!  
  
Sakura: *smirk*  
  
Zelda: *disappears*  
  
*********************With Cloud******************* Cloud: DIE CERBERUS!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cerberus: This is just too easy! *swipes at Cloud who is pointing his sword in the other direction, but unfortunately misses*  
  
Cloud: BACK FIEND!!!!*throws sword at an innocent bystander 500 feet away from the Cerberus*  
  
Cerberus: *swipes at Cloud again, but Cloud's shield of stupidity sends the Cerberus flying back into the Underworld*  
  
Cloud: VICTORY IS *doink* *drool*  
  
Sephiroth: YES!!!!! I NAILED HIM! *crowd cheers*  
  
(Don't we all love Sephiroth? DON'T WE?????)  
  
Cloud: *runs into the room with Sakura with shirt off screaming "ABLOOBABABA! BBA-B-LLEE GOO-BELEGOO!"*  
  
Sakura: No amount of therapy will ever make this moment OK  
  
*Sakura is randomly poofed into the LOTR* Sakura: This day just keeps getting better and better! ^^  
  
*******************With the Cast and Zelda********************************  
  
Zelda: When do you think he'll get out of the trance?  
  
Leon: As soon as everybody else does *points to the rest of the cast standing and drooling entranced by the candles*  
  
Zelda: oh . . . yeah  
  
*Ansem wakes up*  
  
WARNING1 WARNING! ANSEM EVIL PLOT REVEALED!!!!!! WARNING ALERT ALERT!!!  
  
Ansem: USING THE POWER OF THIS BIRTHDAY CAKE I WILL MAKE IT GO ALL EXPLODELY IN THE CENTER OF THE WORLD SOPURCVE OF ELECTRICITY! A SUPREMEM ERA OF DARKNESS WILL FOLLOW, AND I WILL BE RULER!  
  
Zelda: Dude, there always IS BGE. Though that company still sucks.  
  
Ansem: ****IT! I f-f-forgot about BGE. OH WELL!!!!!!! I WILL PLUNGE THE WORLD INTO DARKNESS WITH THIS CAKE ANYWAY!  
  
Back with Sakura*******************  
  
Sakura: *spots a band of orcs and dresses into an orc costume* *ponders while looking straight at Mordor* Now where could there be a place, intent on taking over the world and driving it into an age of darkness? *stares at Mordor again* OH YEAH!  
  
*Sakura joins the orcs*  
  
Orcs and Sakura: *start singing the orc traveling song* OOOHHHHHHHH Follow the dark brick road!!! Follow the dark brick road! *Sakura cuts off*  
  
Orcs: OOOOOOHHHH Were off to visit Sauron, and make all the elves cry! We'll take over Middle Earth, and turn all hobbits into hide!!!!!!!  
  
Sakura: *costume falls off and orcs stare at her, though she keeps singing unknowing* OOHHHHHHH! I'm off to visit Sauron, and poke him in his BIG FAT EYE!!!! And while I'm there I'll make Aragorn and Elfboy cry!-  
  
Orcs: GIVE UP THE CAKE SHE-GOD!!  
  
Sakura: HOW DID YOU KNOW?!?!?!?!?  
  
Orcs: Sauron is in cahoots with Ansem right now . . . stupid master  
  
Sauron's Eye: *destroys all the orcs there*  
  
Sakura: well that was weird . . . OOHHHHHHH! I'm off to visit Sauron, and poke him in his BIG FAT EYE!!!! And while I'm there I'll make Aragorn and Elfboy cry!-  
  
***********************With Riku*************************  
  
Riku: I'm bored, TIME TO GO TORTURE SORA AND SAKURA!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*******************With Sakura (who just randomly appeared in her living room)**  
  
Sakura: Is it time already for Riku to ruin my day yet?  
  
Riku: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sakura: Yawn! *flicks channel to Animal Planet*  
  
!One Hour Later!  
  
*Riku and Sakura are crying on each other's shoulders*  
  
*Zelda appears angrily*  
  
Zelda: WHAT HAPPENED OVER HERE!!!! YOU NEED TO HELP YOU KNOW!!! Riku and Sakura: A *sob* double dose *sob* of *sob* EMERGENCY VETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cast: *cries*  
  
Zelda: Is it really that bad? *uses mad goddess SKEELZ to rewind*  
  
!One Hour Later!  
  
Zelda: *sobbing madly* ITS SO SAD!! THAT ONE KIDS PET DIED!!!!! AND ITS ONLY A PU-PU-PUPPY!!!!!!!  
  
Ok nothing interesting happening here . . . . NEXT SCENE!!!!!!!  
  
Sakura: Are we there yet?  
  
Leon: No  
  
Sakura and Sora plushie: Are we there yet?  
  
Leon: no!  
  
Sakura, Riku, and Sora plushie: Are we there yet?  
  
Leon: NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sakura: *blink*  
  
Riku:*blink*  
  
Sora plushie: *blink*  
  
Leon: *mental breakdown mode*  
  
Zelda: NNNOOOOOOOOOO! *slaps Leon across the head*  
  
Meanwhile . . . .  
  
Sakura: And here are our Polish vacation photos . . *points out her favorite one*  
  
Riku: That's a good one!  
  
Now we must take a moment to discuss the strange absence of Riku bashing . . . *sob* ALL THOSE RIKU ANGST FICS HAVE MADE ME TAKE PITY ON HIM! *huggles Riku* DON'T CRY!!!!!!!!  
  
Riku Haters: *crying* EBIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sakura: Eh don't worry I will still bash him the occasional (as in almost never) time!  
  
Riku Haters: *bash Sakura on the head*  
  
Riku lovers: COUGH HIM UP!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sakura: *lets go of Riku* shoo! NO AUCTIONING CHARACTERS HERE!!!!!  
  
Riku lovers: *walk away disappointedly*  
  
*Flash to picture*  
  
Tadziu (my big brother): *showing a grin cheesier than Sora's*  
  
Joanna (me) ----------------WAIT JUST A DARN MINUTE!!!!!!!!!!1---------  
  
Riku; Your first name is Joanna?  
  
Sakura: WHO GAVE OUT THAT INFO!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?  
  
Leon: I like that name. It sounds serious, unlike your nicknames.  
  
Sakura: CURSE THE LAWS OF BEING AN AUTHORESS AND A MAGE ALL IN ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW I HAVE TO BE SWITCHING TO MY *gulp* NORMAL! SIDE AND MAGIC FORM  
  
*Sakura transforms*  
  
Riku: an, she actually looks *gasps* good looking!  
  
Daniel (my crush, who actually might be crushing on me too! He's not from school, anyway from skiing lessons! *squeals*): Yeah *stares dreamily at a piece of chocolate*  
  
Sakura: NOOOOOOO!!!!! NOW I HAVE TO START TALKING LIKE ELF- Legolas! Stare at the picture! NOT ME!!!!!!!! Or though shalt be cursed into an everlasting life of pain and misery! *eyes turn to that of a wolf*  
  
Sakura (remaining hyper side): NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! ~_~;  
  
Zelda: I know how to handle this! *turns Sora plushie back to normal*  
  
Sakura: SORA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD! *turns to normal*  
  
***************erm back to picture************  
  
Sakura: *staring at ground in comparison with brother looking like, I hate life, I hate the world, the world hates me, and I HATE photographs!*  
  
Which is NOT true at all!!!!!!(erm the photograph thing)  
  
***********back from pictures***************  
  
Zelda: ILL PAY YOU FIVE BUCKS FOR THAT PICTURE!  
  
A bunch of other Gothic people who hate life: GIVE IT TO US!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sakura: *randomly throws picture in opposite direction*  
  
Timmy Turner: HI TRIXIE!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sakura: I'M NOT TRIXIE!!!!!!! I DON'T EVEN HAVE BLACK HAIR!!  
  
Timmy: stop kidding around with me Trixie!  
  
Sakura: *looks in mirror* OMFG!!!!!!!! *stares at her hair and her hair taking on a black color*  
  
Zelda: (who DID get the pictures by commanding all the Gothic peoplez to die!) THE APOCALYPSE IS COMING!!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!  
  
Riku: WHATS GOING ON?!?!?!  
  
Zelda: WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SAKURA'S HAIR TURNS BLACK!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE TURNS TO HER GOTHIC FORM! WHICH IS RATED PG-13!!  
  
Leon: Whatever  
  
Much more Leon like Ne?  
  
Flashback to Gothic Club  
  
The true Yami Sakura: *growl*  
  
Hundreds of Gothic people: HA!!!! YOU'RE CHAINED TO A WALL!!  
  
Gothic Zelda: *stops singing and crawls the wall leaving Gothic Legolas and Gothic Aragorn to be possessed by a TRULLY EVIL SPIRIT*  
  
Sakura: Its only for your protection, but too bad. *puts head down, and the wisps of her hair come down on her eyes. She closes them then opens them again, changing from wolf color to BLOOD RED! She stares at them and smirks coldly through the strands of hair then bursts out of her chains, Anima style*  
  
HOGP: OMG!!!!  
  
Sakura: Pathetic mortals, you dare challenge a being such as me, or Zelda, lurking above you?  
  
HOGP: *look above* OMG!!!!!!!!!  
  
Zelda: *grins evilly and shows off vampire teeth, her eyes red also* Are you ready Sakura?  
  
Sakura: I have been *claws being to come from her fingers and canine teeth begin to elongate*  
  
DUE TO THE BLOODLY NATURE OF THIS SCENE IT HAS BEEN REMOVED!!!!!!!!  
  
Sakura: *stares down at then bloody shreds that used to be people*  
  
Zelda: Well? Are you going to eat it?  
  
Sakura: I do not eat human meat.  
  
Zelda: Fine I'll clean up the blood. *smirk*  
  
************* END FLASHBACK*****************  
  
Sakura: Relax guys, Zelda tried to freak you out by putting black dye into my hair.  
  
Zelda: *smirk*  
  
Sakura: Ah, the days I could talk in bold text!  
  
Zelda: Those were wonderful moments!  
  
***************They leave once again on the quest****************  
  
Sakura: OMG!!!!  
  
Zelda: WHAT?!?!?!!?!  
  
Sakura: OH GOD NO!!!!! CURSE ANSEM!!!!! IT WILL HAPPEN NOW!!!!!  
  
* Riku switches bodies with Sora, Sakura switches bodies with Zelda, and Legolas switches bodies with Aragorn.*  
  
As you guessed mass chaos.  
  
Well for one Zelda and Sakura were so pissed at switching bodies they unleashed the most horrible Element ever to come to Earth. It was so horrible it made kids all over the world scream in pain.'  
  
EDUCATIONAL TELEVISION!!!!!!!!!! MOTHER OF MERCY SAVE US!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ok, key time: Zelda2=Zelda in my body. Sakura2= Sakura in Zelda's body.  
  
Zelda2: BWHAHAHAHA FEAR EDUCATIONAL TELEVISION!!!!!!!!  
  
Sakura2: FEAR MY PHOTOGAPH!!!!!!!  
  
Readers: what the hell??!?!?!  
  
Sakura2: *throws photograph*  
  
Random people (Sakura wishes not to destroy the readers ^^ FEEL LUCKY!!!!!): THE HORROR!!!!!!!  
  
Zelda2: What was that?  
  
Sakura2: *shrugs* A photo from your point of view of what happened in The Closet of Doom.  
  
Zelda2: Oh, the horror *shivers slightly*  
  
Sakura2: It still haunts you?  
  
Zelda2: YUPPERSSSS!  
  
*In background*  
  
Sakura: FEAR EDUCATIONAL TELEVISION!!!!!!  
  
Zelda: IT WILL DESTROY THAT WHO CHANGED US!  
  
*In the background all the characters are screaming because of the  
  
educationalness of educational television*  
  
------ In Ansem control Tower**************  
  
Ansem: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! EDUCATION!!!!!!!!!! I MUST DECIDE BETWEEN MY  
  
GREATEST FEAR! OR MY FAVORITE PLEASURE! ah the heck with it I'm going with  
  
pleasure.  
  
Educational TV Narrator: And notice how the Antelope grazes in fellowship  
  
with the gazelle, to prevent any damage from predators. They will band up to  
  
save, find food, and shelter.  
  
Ansem: THE PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` ````````````````````````````````Sakura: Well that was the chapter; I am sooooooooo sorry if it was not funny! I just don't have any inspiration.  
  
IN THE WORDS OF A GOOD SONG, MY INSPIRATION HAS GONE DRY!!!!!!!!THAT'S WHATS GOING ON! YOU'RE A LITTLE LATE, THIS HOW I FEEL! Eh enough of this!  
  
Ehhh review, but just to let you know, for some reason even when they switch Sora and Sakura never change, and Zelda gets stuck in Aragorn's body! EVILNESS!  
  
A/N: As you can see, I fought for my sanity. But alas, I failed dearly!!!!!!!! FWEEEEE!!!  
  
That's one of the quotes I made up! ENJOY IT!!! 


	3. Author's Notes

Author's Notes.  
  
Sakura: Ah yes, the dreaded Author's notes. I have no clue what to write, really. You can't expect an update, because I'm still trying to heal the wounds of having no electricity for five days. So, as I said in the last chapter, my inspiration has gone dry *shakes head sadly* You know I got my electricity back today *beams*, but I still don't have school tomorrow. *throws a party*  
  
Eh, yeah, Whatever. *Wanders off aimlessly*  
  
Zelda: WAS SAKURA ACTING SERIOUSLY RIGHT THEN? *stares at Sakura and see she IS* NOOOO!!!!!!! SAKURA COME BACK!!!!!!!!!  
  
What good did that cheap attempt at humor do for me? Nothing . . . *huge sigh*  
  
LaughingAsterael: Hmm should it be of doominess, or explodiness? I dunno. I'm sorry for not posting the reply to your review in the last chapter, just my review thing said I had four, but in truth your didn't load yet. Then power went out and I got an extreme case of review fever! I read your other stories too. If you can, please continue Talon? It's a good fic! And it was my pleasure to review. *bows deeply*  
  
Snowgirl7: Never thought Bugs Bunny was that educational. I've gotta watch a little more Loony Toons.  
  
Eh, you can expect an update in the next month or so. I'M SORRY!!!!!!! I CAN'T THINK UP ANYTHING HUMOROUS TO GET RID OF WRITER'S BLOCK, I PROMISED MY FRIEND I WOULD POST MY IDEA FOR TWO LOTR FANFICTIONS SOON, AND MY HEAD JUST HURTS!!!!!!!!!!! *scream* 


	4. Inspirations Back!

Quest for the Author's Cake  
  
By: Sakura  
  
Yay!!!!! I got inspiration!!!!!! LIFE IS GOOD!!!!!!!! I'd like to thank LaughingAsterael and Zelda Saturn Mistress for the support. I got a sudden burst of inspiration when I saw this, and I want to share it with all of you!!!!!!  
  
- 10/alternative_ending_to_ff7.jpg YAY SEPHY!!!!!!!  
  
View that NOW!!!!!! By the way a couple of scenes were inspired by Spaceballs, or taken from.  
  
LaughingAsterael: Thanks for the reviews on both chapters!!!!! Very much appreciated. I know your muses are very interesting. I like insane Riku the most! ^^ Yeah I think I like doomyness better too. Do you want to be featured? You'll be featured unknowly in this chapter! If you want . . . Otherwise, it's Ben, my neighbor.  
  
ON TO THE FIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh just so you won't be confused  
  
SakuraZ= Sakura in Zelda's body  
  
SoraR= Sora in Riku body  
  
RikuS= Riku in Sora's body  
  
ZeldaS= Zelda in Sakura's body  
  
AragornL= Aragorn in Legolas's body  
  
LegolasA= Legolas in Aragorn's body  
  
SakuraZ: I WANT MY BODY BACK!!!!!!!!!!! *bawling*  
  
ZeldaS: ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
RikuS: CAN IT, THE BOTH OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
SakuraZ: *grumble*  
  
AragornL: Legolas?  
  
LegolasA: Yes?  
  
AragornL: *evil smirk*  
  
LegolasA: Time to torment *grin*  
  
*CLOSET OF DOOM APPEARS!!!!!!!!!1*  
  
SakuraZ: You're not telling me I'm making this happen?  
  
ZeldaS: Unfortunately, your brain is making you, to get cheap humor.  
  
SakuraZ: Darn  
  
ZeldaS: But, wait, it's not your brain; it's mine, since you're in my body. But you control the story with your own mind *mental breakdown of confusion*  
  
*Another change occurs, unnoticed* TIME FOR ANOTHER KEY!!!!!!!  
  
Good news for you, Riku and Sora go to their respective bodies.  
  
ZeldaA: Zelda in Aragorn's body  
  
(Legolas goes back to his body)  
  
(Sakura remains)  
  
AragornS: Aragorn in Sakura's body  
  
And unfortunately, Aragorn still thinks he's in Legolas's body  
  
AragornS: *Approaches his own body*  
  
ZeldaA: OMG!!!!! I WANT MY GIRLS BODY BACK!!!!!! NOW!!!!! THIS BODY IS NOT STRAIGHT!!! LEAVE ME BE!!!!!!! *sees Aragorn approaching* NO, GO AWAY!!!!!! I'M A GIRL, NOT LEGOLAS!!!!  
  
AragornS: *confused*  
  
SakuraZ: *sob*  
  
AragornS: *sees Legolas*  
  
ZeldaA: *makes Aragorn think he's in his own body*  
  
AragornS: *approaches Closet of Doom with Legolas*  
  
Legolas: I don't feel right about this.  
  
AragornS: *about to close door*  
  
SakuraZ: MY VIRGIN BODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *tackles Legolas and Aragorn* ANSEM SHALL PAY FOR THAT!!!!!!!!!!! Good thing nothing happened, though.  
  
*change occurs again*  
  
(everyone back in normal bodies)  
  
Sakura: I am permanently scarred. *walk up to Aragorn*  
  
Aragorn: *sheepish grin*  
  
Sakura: *slaps him across the face* DON'T *slap* EVER *slap* TRY *slap* TO *slap* DO *slap* THAT *slap* AGAIN *slap* WITH *slap* MY *slap* BODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Zelda: *chuckle*  
  
Legolas: ARAGORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  
  
Aragorn: *two extremely red hands print on his face* Owwww *sniffle*  
  
Legolas: I can cheer you up! INTO THE CLOSET WE GO!!!!!!!  
  
Zelda and Sakura: *shudders*  
  
````````````````````````````````````````Ansem's Lair``````````````````````````````````````````  
  
Ansem: *petting a kitty* Yes Mr. Fluffums, soon the world will be plunged in darkness, soon. *stroke*  
  
Mr. Fluffums: *purr*  
  
Birthday Cake: I feel so left out, sometimes.  
  
Candles: Yeah, we know.  
  
Ansem: They can talk?  
  
Birthday Cake: Yup! What did ya think, I was an awesome birthday cake of doomyness that couldn't talk?  
  
Ansem: Yes  
  
Candles: Oh  
  
Mr. Fluffums: *runs away*  
  
Ansem: MR. FLUFFUMS, NO!!!!!!! I WANT MY CD'S BACK!!!!!!!  
  
Candles: O.o  
  
Ansem: *takes birthday cake* NOW TO SOMEHOW MAKE DARKNESS COME WITH THIS CAKE!!!!!!!!  
  
Birthday Cake: Did you try destroying the electricity power?  
  
Ansem: Yup  
  
*Sakura arrives*  
  
Ansem: *gulp* Sakura, before you destroy me, I want you to know something about us.  
  
Sakura: *hands on hips* What?  
  
Ansem: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate!  
  
Sakura:*puzzled* What does that make us?  
  
Ansem: Absolutely nothing!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sakura: GRRRRR!!!!!! GIVE THE CAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ansem: NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*tries to punch Sakura*  
  
Sakura: *puts a bucket on his head and holds it in place*  
  
Ansem: *trying to punch*  
  
Sakura: *lets go of the bucket*  
  
Ansem: *flies into a broom closet*  
  
Sakura: *grabs the cake and runs*  
  
Mysterious Voice: Not so fast, now.  
  
Sakura: *freezes*  
  
MV: *presses the pressure point*  
  
Sakura: It's not there, more to where the shoulder meets neck.  
  
MV: Ohhh . . . *presses* There?  
  
Sakura: That's the spot.  
  
MV: *presses the pressure point and Sakura faints* Hehjehe *hack* HAHAHAHA *cough cough* HAHAHAHA *chokes* ahaha *sputter* Ah the heck with this *drags Sakura away*  
  
````````````````````````````````````````````With Zelda and the rest of them`````````````````````````  
  
Zelda: I can't believe we lost her!!!!!!!!  
  
Leon: Nice going  
  
Zelda: IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!!  
  
Sora: IS TOO  
  
Zelda: IS NOT  
  
Sora: IS TOO  
  
Zelda: IS NOT  
  
Sora: IS TOO  
  
Zelda: IS TOO  
  
Sora: IS NOT! Darn!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Warning! Warning! This section of the chapter will implode on itself!!!  
  
Countdown!  
  
10 9 8 6  
  
Cast and Zelda: WHAT HAPPENED TO SEVEN?!?!?!?!  
  
Self-Destruct Voice: Just kidding!!!!  
  
Zelda: *groan*  
  
7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Have a nice day!!!  
  
Cast: *tremble* Thank you  
  
*IMPLODE!!!!!!*  
  
```````````````````````````With mysterious voice and Sakura```````````````````````````````````  
  
Sakura: So the cake I have is a fake?  
  
MV: More of a decoy  
  
Sakura: SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
MV: Want something to eat? (The MV is a shadow)  
  
Sakura: Sure!  
  
*Walk into a diner*  
  
MV: I'll have the soup.  
  
Sakura: I'll try the special.  
  
*A guy starts hacking*  
  
Sakura: Umm, waitress?  
  
Waitress: Yes?  
  
Sakura: What did he order?  
  
Waitress: He had the special, dear.  
  
Sakura: Can I change my order to a soup?  
  
Waitress: Ok  
  
Man Coughing: *a small monster comes out of his stomach*  
  
Monster: *growls*  
  
Sakura: O.o  
  
Monster: *puts on a top hat* OHHHHH, hello, my baby, hello, my sunshine, hello my darling gal. Twist my love oh honey pal, oh baby my heart's on fire. If you refuse me then honey you loose me. Then you'll be left alone, so tell me I'm yours! *cuddles up against MV*  
  
MV: It's so cute!!!  
  
Sakura: CHECK PLEASE!!!!!!  
  
MV: Can I keep it?  
  
Sakura: Sure, let's just get out of here.  
  
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` ````````````````````````````````  
  
You like the new chapter people out there? DO YOU?!?!?! Enjoy the Cloud picture, you people out there? 


	5. Ummmmmmmmmmmm strange

Quest for the Author's Cake  
  
By: Sakura  
  
A/N: IT'S BAAAAAAAAAAACKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *dances around like a deranged maniac on smoked fried noodles* AND I HAVE TAKEN SIYENGO'S ADVICE, AND CHANGED THE FORMATTING!!! Laughing Astarael is featured in this story as . . . JENNA!!! L. Astarael, I hope you don't get mad because I used a couple of your quotes from RPG's, and from your story. I wanted it to seem more like you.  
  
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````Chapter. . Whatever this one is ````````  
  
Riku was hungry. He was also about to do something daring, so daring that it involved raiding a fridge. And not just any refrigerator, Sakura's mom's refrigerator and freezer!! He began shuffling through the meat section! "Ribs . . . no, sausage, no, Steak, no . . . STEAK!!!!!!!!!" Heavenly music started playing. But, unfortunately for Riku, a napping turtle grew wings and flew away with the steak. Oh well. Riku cried and cried, until he realized that there was a whole box of steak, and a Krabby Patty, in the freezer! "Yummy!" Riku cried out, and began to cook the wonderful steak. He flicked on the television, and began to watch the cooking show, and find out just HOW to cook these delicious treats from above. Meanwhile . . . .  
  
Sakura was bored. This meant that she needed the only entertainment available when she was slacking off of missions. DON THE WANABE GANGSTER FOOL! She snapped her fingers and Donald appeared in all of his hyperness. "WAZZUP??????" yelled Donald showing off his bling (A.K.A. shiny plastic rings he had found in a cereal box). Sakura raised an eyebrow. At this moment, a 10,000 dollar Rolex appeared on Ben's hand. "THAT'S DA SHIZNIT!!!" Don yelled and bounced around da "hood" to show everyone else. Sakura stalked off boredly.  
  
With everyone else . . .  
  
"I'm bored!" Jenna whined.  
  
Zelda was fuming. "THEN GO VISIT RIKU!"  
  
"GREAT CHEESE GODS, HE'S HERE?????" Jenna exploded from happiness and disappeared in many puffs of CHEESE!!  
  
Ansem raised and eyebrow. "Now, weren't you going to do something from up there, Sakura?'  
  
"OH YEAH!!!!!!!!" Sakura replied. Zelda disappeared.  
  
"I have something to tell you!" Sakura practically yelled in Zelda ears.  
  
"OWWWWWW! NEXT TIME DON'T BREAK MY EARDRUMS!!"  
  
"Anyway, Ansem is using the educational television to hypnotize people, turning them into," Sakura lowered her voice, "monsters," 'HIDEOUS HEARTLESS MONSTERS!!!!" Sakura screamed.  
  
Zelda disappeared immediately, and took with her Sakura's only weapon available. A melting fudgesicle!  
  
Ansem screamed in pure terror. Oh no, not because of Zelda. Because there was a hideous teenager with lots and lots of acne, LECTURING!!!!!  
  
Down below, many people ran around screaming and running around in circles like deranged ants. "HOMICIDAL STUDENT TEACHER!!!!!"  
  
Meanwhile, Jenna was having a good time torturing Sora and Kairi.  
  
"BWHAHAHAAH!" Jenna screamed, hitting Kairi again with a cheese sprayer. She sprayed the cheese into Kairi's eyes and watched Kairi run around.  
  
"IT BURNS!!!!!!!!!" she yelled.  
  
Jenna's work here was done, so she appeared next to Riku, eating steak. Jenna glanced around with shifty eyes then raided Sakura's freezer, stealing the load of ice cream, and all the chocolate candy from her cabinets.  
  
"I wouldn't do that if I were you!" A mysterious voice rang out. It was Sakura's brother, who now triggered a flashback.  
  
*Flashback*  
  
Sakura sat and ate all the chocolate in the bag. When she reached out for another, they were gone!! She didn't care, so she grabbed a random cup of sugar and ate half of it.  
  
The sugar was hurt. "We have feelings too you know!" It grew legs and walked off.  
  
Sakura wanted more of that chocolate! She read the wrapper and found out that it was alcoholic! "Well, that nice . . ." Sakura said, and passed out on her bed. (HEY! IT RHYMED!).  
  
The After Affects  
  
Sakura stood in a dark alley with Donald. "Give up the bling, foo!  
  
Donald gave up the chocolate coins and ran away like an ant on crack. This caused Sakura to laugh. Laugh and sing.  
  
"AND IF YOU'RE A KID AND YOU WANNA GO WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BUT YOU AIN'T GOT DRUGS YET, HOLD ON TO YOUR LIFE, YOUR CHOCOLATE AND STRIFE!!!!!"  
  
*Flashback ends*  
  
Jenna immediately ate all of the chocolate and began to go insane. "I like cheese! Do you like cheese? YOU MUST LIKE CHEESE!!!!!!" And she smacked poor Sakura's brother for not liking cheese. (If it's possible for Jenna to go more insane, then she did!) She started to drool.  
  
Sakura's brother was annoyed. "I don't get paid enough for this . . ." And he ran away with a trail of strawberry pancakes.  
  
Riku was pleased. He fell asleep. Jenna's eyes widened. "PLUSHIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed and hugged him like the crazed fanfic writer on "drugs" she was.  
  
`````````````````````````````````````````````` Zelda dropped the fudgesicle on Ansem's head. This greatly angered him. He held up the BIRTHDAY CAKE OF DOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
This was a delicate operation. He used his gloves to pick up a candle and threw it at Zelda. She braced herself, there was a quick blackout, then a huge boom. Ansem was gone!  
  
Random moogles were running from the radiation, and Zelda was standing with burnt hair. "NOBODY MESSES WITH MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed, with her eyes on fire. She followed Ansem with anger and prepared to unleash the fury of the Closet of Doom on Ansem!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` ````````````````````````````````  
  
Oh No!! What will happen to our friends next? I DON'T KNOW!  
  
I think this chapter was crap, horrible, stupid, and not funny . . . if you want me to take it down, just tell me. If you want it to stay in script format tell me too, and I'll rewrite this chappie!!! TO THE REVIEWS!!!!!!!  
  
I LOVE ANSEM: sorry I didn't reply before. *hands you a limited edition Ansem plushie with a limited edition birthday cake*  
  
Siyengo: I took that to mind . . .Wow *sniffles* thank you!!!!! *cries of joy* and I have something to say . . . WHY??? WHY DID YOU DELETE YOUR ALL- POWERFUL STORY??????????????? * gives you cookies* At least the solar powered muffin scraper is taking its place! YAY!  
  
LaughingAstarael: Thank you! Too bad about the piccy. I shall try to post it again. If it doesn't work, I'll try to in a review! Thank you so much for the review! KEEP T.R.T.C.A.C. UP AND RUNNING! I LOVE IT! 


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